EXPECTATIONS

Expectations.
They change as we change.
They're born of our biggest dreams and deepest fears.
Sometimes we even inherit them. Sometimes they bring us moments we don't anticipate.
The ones that make you think and stop and take inventory,
And give you a better understand of where you're at and
Where you're headed and ultimately, create new expectations.

WE HEAR IT, BELIEVE IT BUT FREQUENTLY FORGET IT.

Be yourself, what a cliché,
We hear it over and over in literature, fairytales, songs,
But we still don't get it, it might be because when we dream
We don't worry whether the dream is worthy of us,
But whether we're worthy of the dream.
So we lose our identities in order to chase what we want,
But if we can stay proud of who we are and not run from ourselves,
Then maybe our dreams, like the prince with the glass slipper will come find us.

WATS WRONG WITH ME

I seem to fall for the bad boys all the time.
Be it one with a "bad-boy, gorgeous look" or one with a "sweet, innocent boy look"

Yeah peops, funnie I should feel this way or mention it
But I was somewhat crushed to learn that Taufik Hidayat is engaged!
With this rather sweet-looking Indonesian girl.
Damn~ see, I told you! Indonesian, Singaporean, just wont work! -argh-

Whats even more interesting to hear is that he has a bad repo back in Indonesia.
Apparently hes known to change girlfriends frequently.
This is how they say it in the Indonesian way .. "dikenal suka gonta-ganti pacar. ".
Oh well, my chances are basically non-existance.
Coz, they planning to get married late this year or early next year.
DAMNIT.

I wanted the high of crushing on someone or dreaming about someone to last longer.
Alas, I had to burst my own bubble by exploring the World Wide Web.
DAMN the internet. Must they have all the information ..

There goes another crush of mine.
BOO-HOO
Its hard for me to crush on someone. Why uh?
But when I do, there are all sorts of hindrance .. Nationality seems to be a leading factor.
SIGH. DOUBLE SIGH. OH WELL, MAKE IT TRIPLE SIGH.

Now its back to one person inhibiting my head ..
He can stay forever in there. Only problem is, he wont let me in his.
ARGH. M-I-S-E-R-Y!!!

So sad, so sad, what love can make you do ..
All the things that you accept, be the things that you regret
So all of my ladies, feel me, come and sing with me ..

Haha. Just felt like singing for a bit there.
I'm gonna leave right about now ..
And oh yeah .. ITS 4 DAYS NOW. hahahhahaa ....... (fades away)

AM I MAKING SENSE? IF NOT, DONT BOTHER

Just finished watching Ed (Memory Lane).

This particular episode got me thinking.
I could relate to it in so many different ways.

I treasure the past so dearly.
Whether it was good or bad,
I'm one to believe in no regrets.

The past plays a huge part in my life.
It rewinds and plays in my head every minute of the day.
To the extend that I miss out on the present.

Somehow, I want my past to be in my future as well,
Thus, leaving no room for a future.

Its hard for me to leave things behind.
Especially wonderful and special things that happened to me.
I know that the past should remain as a sweet memory more than anything else
But thats not enough for me.
I want the assurance that the future would be as sweet as the past.
Thats why I bring the past along with me to the future.
At present, I'm leaving in the past.
Or perhaps not.
I just dont want to let go.
Its me causing misery to myself.
But how can I call it misery if its that one thing that I'm so sure that I want.

Then, there was that Warren-scenario.

I'm afraid of that too.
Though I desperately want it to happen. More than anything ...
I cant help but wonder if it would cause tragedy to our relationship.
2 things happen to good friends when they explore the possibilities ..
They fall madly in love or they discover the unevitable (no chemistry)
If the second scenario takes place, they desperately try to go back to being friends
But that just wont work out anymore.
You cant turn back to where you were without feeling awkward.

I'm too tired now, will talk more about it in a bit. Goodnite.