OUCH.

Somethings happening.
Will safely say this part of my life aint no bed of roses.
Perhaps its one of the biggest test I'll face.
Never felt more useless and alone.
OUCH.

SATS finally replied. I was rejected.
Funny thing was that they sent me 2 letters of notice.
Like as if they were trying to reinforce the fact into me.
Perhaps they knew I would self-delude and think they made a mistake.
OUCH.

I let go of so many other oppurtunities,
Put my life on a standstill for 3 weeks,
Waiting for that letter of acceptance.
And it was all for the wrong reasons.
I made a mistake. A grave one.
OUCH.

I should have known that things I want so bad, I'll never get.
I'm wondering where I'll get the strength to start over.
I'm noticing a pattern here.
As if one aspect of my life was not enough, another has to follow suit.
OUCH.

I'm thankful for all the support I've received so far.
Thanks guys. Some are sweet with it, some are harsh with it.
But I know all meant well. And I appreciate it.
But dont offer me anymore words of comfort.
Or I might jus break down and cry.
I wanted comfort from a particular place.
But alas, I was cut short and not given a chance to even speak.
Perhaps I was finding for it in the wrong place.
Would there even be any comforting there? Maybe not.
OUCH.

Why do I always give a damn about all the wrong things?
OUCH.
This really hurts.

P.S. The next time we meet, dont offer me words of strength and comfort.
Just indulge in laughters and happy moments. I hate to be reminded.

WAS THINKING ...

Here's a valuable lesson to be shared ..

YOU CAN HOPE. BUT NEVER EXPECT.

EXPRESSIONS

Something got me thinking recently.
How absurd and ironic the words/ways we choose to express ourselves.
Here are some given examples;

"I love him terribly"
"That dress is freaking gorgeous"

Lets further analyse that first phrase. How do u love someone terribly?
Love is something beautiful, aint it not?
And the last I checked the words terrible and beautiful are opposite in meanings.

Then that next phrase -- Freaking gorgeous.
Freak is defined as An abnormally formed organism and
Gorgeous is defined as Dazzlingly beautiful or magnificent.
See the conflict in meaning once again?

We humans are rather confused creatures.
Things beautiful, we equate it with the ugly.
But then again, some might debate on this issue.
Its the beauty of expressions some call it.
The strong words to further emphasize our thoughts and feelings.

Oh well, this is a rather spontaneous choice of topic.
So if you detect some irregularities or have some qualms,
Dont ask. I merely wrote this out of boredom.
Maybe not entirely boredom, just wanted to voice out my thoughts.